My bra is uncomfortable. I know my bra is always uncomfortable, but is it this uncomfortable? Can my boobs even be changing this soon? Google it.
What’s the earliest I can take a pregnancy test? Like, the absolute earliest? Google it.
I know I read that I can drink wine, because I’m not actually pregnant yet, and I’m not sharing blood with the baby, and also, I already drank wine, so there’s no point obsessing about it anyway…but can I really drink wine? Google it.
When does implantation occur? Could I be pregnant now? Google it.
(takes a break to stare at my Kindara chart for ten minutes straight)
How about now? Am I pregnant now? Google it.
Is that a twinge in my uterus? Is that an implantation twinge? You have already read about this and do not need to research it. Google it anyway.
I’m feeling kind of crampy. Are these cramps normal? Am I pregnant? Is this a sign of pregnancy? Google it.
Is my sperm donor still available? Only six vials left. Should I buy more vials now?
Wait, when is the absolute, 100% earliest I can take a pregnancy test? Google it.
If this round of IUI works, and I do become pregnant, I’d like to think that fertilization happened around 4:30 in the morning when I woke up and felt so very happy. I got up to go to the bathroom and literally thought: “You’re doing great! You look good, you cleaned your house, and your body is, right now, doing amazing things. It’s going to make a human. You’re incredible.”
Those are some serious pregnancy vibes, right?
Day 16. Nothing.
In the past, I have gotten my LH surge on Day 13 or Day 14 of my cycle (granted, I have only tested for two cycles). My cycle is a regular 28-29 days, every month, forever and ever. But this cycle, the cycle that actually counts, I am testing and testing (I am up to 3 times a day) and…nothing.
Is it stress? Have I killed my ovulation with stress? I do have a cold and one of my many, many google searches indicates that having a cold can affect your ovulation.
I am totally, 100% freaking out.
Update: I spoke to a nurse at my clinic and she assured me that if I am testing three times a day (yeah, I am), there is no way I should have missed my LH surge. She said that if after the 18th day of my cycle I still haven’t gotten anything, call and they will have me come in.
learning not to envy
someone else’s blessings
is what grace looks like
– rupi kaur
This is my mantra every time I see a facebook post announcing a new pregnancy.