My First Two Week Wait (sponsored by Google)

My bra is uncomfortable. I know my bra is always uncomfortable, but is it this uncomfortable? Can my boobs even be changing this soon? Google it.

What’s the earliest I can take a pregnancy test? Like, the absolute earliest? Google it.

I know I read that I can drink wine, because I’m not actually pregnant yet, and I’m not sharing blood with the baby, and also, I already drank wine, so there’s no point obsessing about it anyway…but can I really drink wine? Google it.

When does implantation occur? Could I be pregnant now? Google it.

(takes a break to stare at my Kindara chart for ten minutes straight)

How about now? Am I pregnant now? Google it.

Is that a twinge in my uterus? Is that an implantation twinge? You have already read about this and do not need to research it. Google it anyway.

I’m feeling kind of crampy. Are these cramps normal? Am I pregnant? Is this a sign of pregnancy? Google it.

Is my sperm donor still available? Only six vials left. Should I buy more vials now?

Wait, when is the absolute, 100% earliest I can take a pregnancy test? Google it.